Do we actually have control of what happens in life based on decisions made? OR is it just an illusion? You research, you plan, make all the right choices, and still the unexpected happens! Life tosses you challenges you really don’t want to face, overwhelming feelings, tearful moments, uncertainty, doubt, ect… I sit here thinking, it really is funny, the twists and turns life takes, even when you plan so well! Sometimes in the moment it is too much, and yet, it always seems to work out the way it is supposed to, sometimes even better than you could have imagined.
I shouldn’t be surprised at how amazing the first couple weeks in Kathmandu were. The incredible experiences! I researched and planned so well! I put so much thought into my first few weeks in Nepal, I had it all figured out! Then everything took a turn…My well thought out plans didn’t go the way they were supposed to. Being a people pleaser most of my life, I again found myself in turmoil, faced with conflicting emotions and decisions to make. Do I once again avoid confrontation and put others’ needs first and avoid disappointing them, putting everyone else above my well-being? Or do I make tough choices and choose me?! So I made my decision and in a few hours, found myself on a flight from Kathmandu to Pokhara. I arrived at my hostel reuniting with Dani and Diana, my new friends from the previous stay! Our paths once again crossed, now planning adventures and spending the remainder of the month together. Sharing more laughter and late night chats! I felt at peace, my heart was happy. And moreso, I felt proud of myself for taking care of me!
I look back to a few days ago and believe in my heart that the universe was presenting me with yet another lesson! To encounter difficult decisions and make choices to take care of me, because if I don’t, no one else will! So rather than putting everyone and everything else ahead of me, jeopardizing my health and well-being to avoid confrontation, disappointment or inconvenience, I took care of myself!
My remaining days of September are not as planned, changing the direction of October. So after this week, I have no idea what lies ahead. I will begin to once again make plans and with a new found confidence and faith, I am ready for any twists and turns my journey may take. I know how ever it unfolds, it will all work out like it is supposed to!
*picture captured in Kathmandu, Nepal