What is your biggest fear?
Fear is a funny thing! Okay, maybe not funny, but strange!
There was a point in my life where I dare not share my fear with anyone. If I shared, would they think it was funny to use it against me?! I have thought many times about trying to overcome my fear, but it was too scary to even try! In addition I have tried numerous times to remember an incident that may have caused my fear. I always came up blank. So doesn’t that make it irrational?
What is my fear…snakes! It didn’t matter what form the snake was in-a picture, rubber, wooden, or real. If it was a snake, it was a snake! It was an automatic reaction, one that would bring on tears, screams or me running! Really, it didn’t even matter if there was anything concrete…the thought of the possibility was enough to bring up anxious emotions. In the past I even changed plans due to the slight possibility that I would see a snake! For example, in the past I had a trip to Costa Rica planned and it was only a couple weeks away…but I canceled it because I learned about the snakes in the area.
So many times I have tried to face my fear, knowing yes it is irrational, yet it was still so real for me.
When I started to travel, I right away felt the familiar feelings of anxiousness, fear, and consciously thinking of where I could go and where I would have to avoid so I didn’t have to constantly live in fear of maybe! But when I booked my flight to Nepal, I didn’t think about snakes until I started researching, only to find out that Nepal has a large population of snakes. Ugh! I had trouble sleeping, imagining that there would be snakes all over the sidewalks, yards, everywhere! I had a big decision to make, cancel or take a risk. So I made the decision that my experience visiting Nepal was far more important than the what ifs. So I just hoped and prayed that I would be lucky enough to NOT see any snakes!!!
Guess what…I have been in Nepal for one month and there are no snakes on the sidewalks, no snakes in the yards, and not one snake seen on my jungle walk (Nepal leeches…almost as bad). Let me tell you, there have been moments when I was on high alert, especially walking through the tall grass in the jungle, but I keep telling myself, I want to travel, I want to experience, and if I encounter a snake, only then will I have a reason to be scared!
Oh, the fear is still there, but I have decided that the risk is greater than missing out on some incredible experiences! I will continue to hope that I only see a snake from afar or not at all, and rather than fear what hasn’t happened, live for the moment at hand and if I encounter my biggest fear, I will react and deal with it then!!
*picture captured in Chitwan National Park, Nepal